Silver and Gold

I've been thinking about the word love a lot lately.  I happened to get a fun email about how kids defined love.  Here it is if you would like to read it.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-old's, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'  Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'  Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'  Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'  Bobby - age 7
'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'  Nikka - age 6
 'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'  Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'  Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'  Cindy - age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'  Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'  Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'  Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'  Lauren - age 4
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)  Karen - age 7
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'  Mark - age 6
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'   Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.  The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.  Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

I really like the last one about the boy.  I've seen it several times over the years and each time it reminds me that sometimes love is just the quiet knowing that you are not alone.  Like the pastor said recently, some people come to God as a last resort when He should have been the first option.  God is always there.  Quietly waiting for us to remember that the loneliness we feel is false.  Patiently waiting for us to hand over our problems.  Prodding us to turn to Him in all things.  Too many times we take that love for granted.  Our triumphs somehow become all our own and we forget to praise Him.  But our sorrows bring us down and we turn back with confession on our lips. 

Laura's Story has a song called Blessings.  It's about praying for help, removal of burdens, healing. It talks about how we scream and cry if we don't get the answer we want.  The song points out that all prayers are answered to God's glory.  "A thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near."  If you are aware that the author's husband died from brain cancer, the song becomes heart rending. 

I've had those nights of praying and begging for healing.  God didn't heal Andy.  He died just shy of his 24th birthday.  As I look back, it was through his illness that he and I both turned back to God.  We went from stupid teenagers who knew everything to adults who understood that God is the beginning. end, and middle of all things.

I've prayed and begged waiting to know if my newborn son would breathe.  He survived and thrives as a hyper little 5 year old. 

God is love.  We learn love by learning about God.  It can be hard to remember that when the love of God means we lose something we want to hold on to.   I may want to sometimes forget that lesson because of the pain it can entail but it is true.

If you are a friend, know that I love you.  As the saying goes, "Make new friends but keep the old, for one is silver, the other gold."   I may not speak to you or see you for years, but I say a prayer when I think of you.  I tell God that I hope you are happy.  I pray that He comforts you in times of need.  I look forward to the day that we meet again in heaven if we never see each other on earth again.

It doesn't matter how many years pass or the pain experienced.  Love is a blessing.  One that grows the more it is given away.  To my silver and gold friends, I love you. 

Blessings in Frustration

I'm trying to remember not to get flustered this week.  I apparently made that well known mistake of asking God for patience because I am getting ample opportunities to to exercise my patience levels.

We have been blessed with a new home.  I'm very excited about it.  I call it my "grandma house".  I want to be grandma in this house.  It's a 1970 home that has been added on to a few times.  We've learned quickly that nothing is square or level.  There are almost more light switches than lights.  I'm grinning as I type this because the funny thing is that we had the same issues with our present house and it was built sometime around 2005-6. 

One of the frustrating items is plumbing.  The house sat empty for most of the last 2 years.  Now there are leaks.  They looked minor enough until the plumber tried to fix them. 

"This job is becoming slightly more complicated."  Not words you wish to hear from the guy under your sink. 

My new faucet is getting all new pipes too.  Yay?

"I've never seen a stem quite like this."  That sentence belongs to the owner of the company.

The hall bathtub faucet might have to be replaced if he can't find the part. 

The poor gentleman helping me with the electrical and other handy man stuff had to cut each stud separately.  The ceiling varies by nearly half an inch at it's extremes.  The attic access is stuffed full of flexible silver ductwork.  So full that although he or I should be able to easily navigate the space, we can't.  Needless to say that will add trouble to moving light fixtures and air vents. 

I am spending so much time at our local home improvement stores that I am thinking about carrying my jammies and toothbrush next trip.  The associates recognize me as I walk in and ask questions about items discussed the last trip.  By items I don't necessarily mean lumber and new toilets.  One fellow and I discussed the LARP that is going to occur in a neighboring town. 

The absolute greatest part?  I ended up in my doctor's office because of an allergic rash due to the bleach water mix I was using to clean the kitchen. Apparently the gloves I used didn't keep it off my skin.

Those are just the annoyances in our personal life.  I don't even think I want to go into the details of what's been going on with shipment at our business this week.  Between the supply warehouse misplacing a full box and a very not helpful customer service agent, our new product has been/will be sent in a total of 3 shipments causing it to arrive 3 days late.  Two days past sale date.  On the only day hubby can't work it because of other work related responsibilities.  Argh. 

I've been going over my recent devotional time.  My quick conversations.  My quiet moments.  I really don't recall asking for patience.  I guess God just thought I needed a review.  I would say that I hope I got the message so we can move on but that would be impatient of me. 

In all things, praise the Lord.  :-)

Circus

We rushed down to my hometown the other Wednesday evening.  Nana obtained tickets to the circus for Thursday evening.  The last time we went to the circus was before Gorgeous (now 2) was even a thought. 

There is nothing like the circus.  Where else can really wierd human tricks earn you money?  Where else can you race motorcycles around in a metal ball?  Where else can you act like a fool and have people laugh with you? 

Needless to say the kids had a blast.  There was a bit of trepidation on the part of the 4 almost 5 yo.  He is not fond of crowds or animals.  Even he began cheering on the performers!

I've always loved the circus since the first time my folks carried me.  I remember the high wire acts.  I remember the pretty girl on the back of the elephant.  The lion's roar.  I probably still have the big coloring  program book.  (I can be a pack rat sometimes.)  I hope they will retain such fond memories.

Sisters (anonymous)

(This was sent to me via email by a wonderful lady named Mrs. Alice.  I doubt she wrote it because of the way she worded her first comment of it being "Not new but lovely nevertheless."  I must agree with her sentiment.)

Sisters

   

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day,

drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As

they talked about life, about marriage, about the

responsibilities of life and the obligations of

adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her

glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance

upon her daughter..

"Don't forget your sisters,' she advised, swirling

the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll

be more important as you get older. No matter how

much you love your husband, no matter how much you

love the children you may have, you are still going

to need sisters. Remember to go places with them now

and then; do things with them..'

'Remember that 'sisters' means ALL the women...

your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other

women relatives too.. 'You'll need other women. Women

always do.'

What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman

thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the

couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup!

Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to

make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her mother. She kept contact with her sisters and

made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after

another, she gradually came to understand that her mother really knew

what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and

their mysteries upon a woman, sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've

learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:

Time passes.

Life happens.

Distance separates.

Children grow up.

Jobs come and go.

Love waxes and wanes.

Men don't do what they're supposed to do.

Hearts break.

Parents die.

Colleagues forget favors.

Careers end.

  

BUT.........

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how

many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than

needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you

have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the

valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you,

intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's

end..

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk

beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law,

sisters,-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and

extended family: all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and

neither would I. When we began this adventure called

womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or

sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we

would need each other..

Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on to all the women who

help make your life meaningful.

I just did. Short and very sweet:

There are more than twenty angels in this world. Ten are peacefully

sleeping on clouds. Nine are playing. And one is reading her email at

this moment.

(I guess I should point out that I am not the woman of 50 years that added these tidbits.  Haven't reached that milestone yet.  I agree with them though.)

Homeschooling Differences

I subscribe to dozens of blogs, online newsletters, and facebook fan all kinds of homeschool related items.  It can be quite entertaining to see all the various takes on those of us who keep our children at home instead of sending them to public or private schools.

What parents who send their kids to school, or folks that have no children, seem to miss is that no homeschool is like any other homeschool.  My neighbors unschool.  I just saw online an article that slams that philosophy relentlessly as near negligence in parenting.  Frankly, the young lady next door that just had her 14th birthday is the only babysitter I have ever hired.  After living beside these "crazy unschoolers" I know that she was better qualified and mature enough to handle my five with no concerns than most "normal" kids.  (More on "normal" in other posts.  Trying to stay on topic here.)

I do not school at home by any stretch of the imagination.  My hubby is a teacher.  I spent all my time in college working towards a teaching degree.  I even worked as a teacher for 2 1/2 years.  There is no way having my five sit at a desk for 45 minute time periods doing worksheets would teach them anything.  I wish I had known and understood what I do now as a parent back when I did teach.  My classroom would have been radically different and my students would have had fond memories of field trips to the playground to follow bugs, paint rocks, and barely any memory of silly repetitive worksheets.  True, my students now have workbooks to practice math and writing skills.  They also have businesses.  My eldest son runs the snack machine at our business.  He is responsible for making sure it is kept stocked.  My second son is more willing to try new things.  He will find plush animals or toys that would appeal to our customer base and stock them.  Both have jobs to do within our business having to do with stocking, store upkeep, and customer interaction.   We go to the zoo.  We go to museums.  We go to the library. We go to the park.  We read.  We play games.  We go to family functions.  We go to the local university for the occasional lecture series.  We do all this and more.  We do it on our time.  If there is going to be something of interest at noon across town, we load up and go.  I do not have to provide an excuse to a teacher.  I don't have to worry if our trip out of state will keep them out of school for more than the 10 allowed days per school term.  If my husband gets extra time off and wants to spend time with our children at a movie, we can go.  No homework for hours after hours at school interfering with his ability to have conversations about physics or video games with our kids.

Do I know families that are more structured?  Yes.  I know families that buy boxed curriculum each year and follow it precisely.  Even then, school doesn't last from 8am to 3pm like at the usual institutions.  They do their workbooks. Read their assignments.  Follow the prescribed day's activities.  They learn right on the publisher's timeline and use their expansive free time to pursue other interests.

The majority of homeschoolers I know do everything differently from every other homeschool family I know.  Even when they purchase the same curriculum, they go about completing it differently.

Eclectic, classical, Charlotte Mason, unit studies, lapbookers, notebookers, the list goes on and on for different titles for homeschoolers. There is a reason that we each chose to teach our children at home: So we can teach them as individuals, not as an age group.  If you ask each parent why they do this, answers will swing from one end of the spectrum to the other. 

My answers have even changed over the years.  After having Blue Eyes in a pre-kindergarten, we realized hubby would get to see him for about 30 minutes each school day.  At the time, he had Fridays off.  We would pick up Blue Eyes at nap time and head off somewhere.  We had to wait until after lunch so that the days would not add up.  Too many absolute absences equaled removal from school and we were trying to get him "properly educated".  Hubby missed the boy.  So my first answer for why was so that he could spend time with our children.

Now it is along the lines of God telling us in the Bible that we should raise up our children in the way that they should go.(Proverbs 22:6)  My 10 yo and 9 yo are most of the way through a pre-algebra program.  They read Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and The Time Machine in the last couple of weeks.  My 6 yo loves to read and asks for math pages whenever she gets a chance.  My 4 yo builds and runs and talks and draws and gets to be a boy.  My 2 yo joins in everything she can with gusto resulting in various adventures and messes.

It's loud.  It's quiet.  It's organized. It's chaos. It's running over with extra kids.  It's just us few.  It's our school.  Even with a schedule, it is different everyday as we learn and discover together. 

One of the best things about homeschooling is our differences.

Have a blessed day.

Snow Days

It's been quite a while since I have posted.  The holidays simply got too busy to handle everything I wanted to do.  Plus, after my reminder at Thanksgiving (See Not Finished Yet) I decided my priorities could be adjusted. 

For the first time since 1882, Georgia had snow on Christmas.  It was beautiful and fluffy.  I've been in New York to see "real" snowflakes so I know these were tiny little crystals.  They still coated the world in a layer of pristine white.  It was a reminder that Jesus was born so that He could wash us whiter than snow.  Just a little, "Hey down there, don't forget why you are celebrating."

Needless to say, other adults were complaining about the drive home, slushy messes to come, but all I could think was my memories of wishing and praying for a white Christmas as a child.  I grew up due west of Savannah.  We hardly ever got ice!  That changed recently.

This past week has been an exercise in Northern Style Living.  As I now live due west of Atlanta, we were in the latest snow and ice storm.  I still don't like the thought of driving but I have obligations out of the house starting Tuesday. *sigh*  No school for the whole week for university or grade schools.  I laughed at facebook posts concerning what to do with trapped in the house kids.  I loved posts of kids on cardboard sleds.  I even got the princess to give it a try.  Singular.  I don't think she liked going that fast without a serious braking system.  I assured her she would go no further than the tree line.  She did NOT find that an enjoyable thought.  If only I'd been younger...or at least had another adult home to call the ambulance. :-)

Sad news for the week as well.  My cousin passed away.  She was only 55.  Although she had lost 200lbs, the damage had been done to her liver.  I don't know the name associated with the condition.  I just know that when she began to deteriorate, things went down hill rather quickly.  Thank God she was a believer and we have no doubt that we will meet again.  She left behind two sons.  The second one she raised with her husband but the first she was forced to give up for adoption decades ago.  Unwed mothers were not always so prevalent. My first thought was that now she knew what happened to her little baby boy as well as sadness because if he finally learned her name, it would be followed by his learning of her death.

Well, this seems rather disjointed.  Not such a great start for 2011 in my blog.

Not Done Yet

There used to be a cartoon on my grandmother's refrigerator that said, "God put me on this earth to do a certain number of things.  Right now, I am so far behind that I will never die!"  I got reminded on Thanksgiving evening that as silly as that cartoon was, it is pretty accurate. 

The family met at my uncle's house in Jonesboro for our Thanksgiving meal.  I and 4 of 5 of the children planned on continuing on to Nana and PaPa's house for the weekend.  Daddy let the 4yo and 6yo slosh through the ditch ruining their shoes and pants.  Thankfully, I had their clothes for the trip and we changed on the back deck.

Well, everyone said their goodbyes and we were on our way.  My folks in the truck with 2 kids and me in the van with the other 2.  We didn't even get to the interstate before we realized we had left the muddy clothes and must turn around.  Then back on the road again for about 20 minutes before we had to stop for gas and bathrooms.  After hitting I-16 we had to pull off to find Gorgeous's arms.  She had pulled them into her sleeves and could not get them back out.  It gets dark early now.  I didn't sleep much the night before, so I did not complain when Blondie asked for a restroom break.  (You just don't get far with kids in the car.) 

Coffee purchased and potty used, I told my passengers no more stops until home, please.  Nana and I had been alternating who was in front of who on the road.  She was back in the lead.  As we approached exit 62, I noticed cars parked along the side of the road.  Georgia law requires you to move over one lane when there are vehicles in the emergency lane.  No problem. 

BIG PROBLEM!

Nana's truck suddenly swerved back right.  It's amazing how fast your mind can work when something is happening.  I knew instantly that there must be something extremely wrong and hit my brakes as my fingers disengaged the cruise.  The thought that I might have to fight it to slow down crossed my mind.  I wanted to hit my emergency brake but it is in the floor and I had both feet on the regular brake.  I came to a halt about 15 feet from a car sitting across the entire lane.  There was silence from the 9yo and 23 mth old but a glance in the mirror showed they had been kept in their seats in the farthest back bench seat and that there were cars still coming up behind me.  I hit the flashers as I began searching for a way out. 

The car in front of me had obviously been hit by another car.  It's primered side was dented.  The interior light was on showing no signs of anyone still being inside it.  The emergency lane on the left hand side of the road was blocked off because of construction.  Cars were coming up along the right hand lane.  I waited.  Three cars passed before I could pull out and around it.  I drove about half a mile down the road and pulled off.

That was the longest few seconds of my life.  I took a deep breath and called 911.  They had already dispatched help.  Then I dialed Nana. 

I did not get to see where the truck went after it's sudden maneuver.  I had not passed it as I got the van to a safe area.  My little "mud pies" from earlier were in there with my parents.  The first attempt did not go through.  She hung up as she answered.  I dialed again.  This time she did get it answered.  She had fallen apart.  Apparently, she had been forced to sharply steer the truck up the exit ramp before slamming to a halt.  As PaPa said, her ambulance training kicked in to handle the vehicle.  Then she didn't know where we were.  He had to work hard to get her moved to the passenger side so he could get the truck moved somewhere safer.  She had seen a man on the side of the road waving frantically just before seeing the wrecked car.  If not for him, she might not have noticed it.

If not for the truck suddenly turning in front of me, I wouldn't have known to stop.

If not for one of those potty stops... gas stops... coffee... All those delays just timed to keep us out of the wreck.

When we got to the house, I hugged my mother and told her she saved our lives.  Her driving kept the truck and passengers safe.  Me seeing her do it focused my attention to where the real danger was.

God kept us alive that night.  I am sitting here typing very aware that that list of items on God's agenda must not all be checked off. 

I am thankful for my family.  I am thankful for my children.  I am thankful to be alive.  I am thankful that I am not done yet.

Did you have a wonderful, thankful Thanksgiving?