During my twelve years of marriage I have become mom five times. Each pregnancy came with weight gain and loss.
I've not really thought much about my body until recently. My youngest turns 3 this December. I didn't intend to start a diet but I began to lose weight anyway because we've had many changes to our lifestyle over the last while. I decided now was as good a time as any to get rid of the “baby fat”.
I started paying attention to what I ate and started walking. A few weeks ago I hit my target clothing size. I can claim a good weight for my height. I meet all the typical healthy numbers.
Then I look in the mirror. My belly has stretch marks and has long passed the idea of taunt and flat. Evidence abounds that I chose breastfeeding over bottles for each of my babies. My legs have varicose veins in spider web patterns. My hips are curved with marks of their own. I have a mom's body.
As I was preparing to take my children to the beach, I complained that wearing a swimsuit would be better if I didn't have “mom legs”.
The next thought came with a laugh. If I didn't have mom legs I wouldn't be going to the beach.
The whole trip was planned because my youngest three want to fly kites. They had tried to do so in our backyard to no avail despite the autumn winds. What better place to fly kites than the beach?
Practically, every year during my childhood my family would go to Jekyll Island for several days. I remember noticing my mom did not look like the models in the swimsuit catalogs. Of course not, she was Mom. She was beautiful. She didn't have to be one of those too thin models.
I studied myself a bit more in the mirror. I have 5 beautiful children. Children who drive me and each other crazy some days. They are loud and quiet. They are polite and rude. They are boys and girls full of love and deeply loved.
I may now weigh what I did long before I had children. I may wear the same size clothes as I did when a teen. But my body is a radically different entity.
I am proud of my weight loss. I am pleased with my progress with exercise. Most of all I am overwhelmingly joyful that my body is radically different.
I was told long ago I should never have a baby because I would not survive to see it born. Now my body exhibits the badges of pregnancy all over.
I will don my swimsuit knowing the privilege God has granted me and take my children to the beach. God gave me a mom's body, now it's time I give my children some fun memories of a woman who doesn't look like those pencil thin models playing with them on the beach.
